if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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