I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
