pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
