im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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