Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
