summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
