The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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