Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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