like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Watching her eat just hurts me
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
