i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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