You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
