I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Found your dick twin last night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
