Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
