where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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