youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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