You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
