I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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