Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Four minutes until I can fart!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
