we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
