You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
