yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
