im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
