kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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