He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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