She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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