nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
