so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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