Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
