she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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