did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I want to fling myself into the sun
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
