She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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