eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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