return my video game
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
