Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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