Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the condom got lost in my hair
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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