Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
soo... how was my night?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
