I didn't shave. On purpose
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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