STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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