I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
