I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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