if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
