If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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