No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
