Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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