I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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