In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
