she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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