office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
