Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
