just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
